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He wouldn’t visit malls and have kids sit on his lap to tell him what they wanted for Christmas, because that’s so inefficient and inexact. Instead, he’d write an app for the web and mobile devices where kids could enter specific product suggestions, along with links to online merchants. This data would be aggregated in the cloud to enable large, bulk purchases at steep discounts.


While his headquarters would remain in the North Pole, Santa would “work remotely” for most of the year from cafés and beaches across the globe, where the weather and coffee was less miserable.


He wouldn’t give the kids what they want, but would instead optimize for space. There would be a lot more gift cards and a lot fewer bikes.


He wouldn’t have to check the Naughty/Nice list twice because he’d have unit tests to verify that the results were correct.


He wouldn’t deliver all the gifts manually; he’d write a script to do it. He’d set up data centers throughout the world to distribute the load and parallelize delivery, synchronizing per time zone and maximizing throughput while minimizing latency.


He wouldn’t have reindeer pull his sleigh. He’d have a legion of quad copters doing the work, not because they’re better than flying reindeer, but just because they’re a lot cooler (and not as messy). Also, the GoPro videos are a lot more stabilized.


He wouldn’t have Rudolph guide his sleigh because he’d use night vision goggles with geo-location data overlays, because it would be awesome. Besides, Rudolph’s a prima donna, and there’s only room on the team for one of those.

他不會去穿紅色毛大衣,因為那樣對皮毛的來源太殘忍了。他可能穿一件T恤,或許上面會印上一個 比如「Ho Hum」的標語。不過在他的路程他還是需要一件暖和的大衣,所以他很可能會在REI 訂購一件羊毛外套和毛帽(上頭繡著「pom-pom」)。

He wouldn’t wear a red fur coat, because that’s cruel to whatever red animal it came from. He’d probably wear a t-shirt, maybe with an ironic slogan on it, like “Ho Hum.” But he’d need a warm coat for the ride, so he’d probably get a fleece shell from REI and a hipster beanie (with an ironic pom-pom).

本文翻譯自 Chet Haase 的文章
圖片修改自 Chet Haase 的文章






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